"I went on a date and I get nervous when I date. I get very nervous. I went on this date and we went out to dinner and all these things then I took her home and she went inside, and then I farted for the rest of my life."-Louis C.K.

I'm the only non white guy in the suits.

 

starlordmarth:

xbox420:

jerry accidentally walked into someone elses interview so he backtracked and pulled out his phone and just scrolled through it in the middle of the red carpet

FUCKING Larry

nawyougood:

theinternationalasshole:

Imagine having sex with a girl and she turns into a legit monster
Do you continue fucking her or do you run away?

does the pussy stay human pussy or does it become monster pussy? will she kill me if my stroke weak? if the condom breaks, will i create an x men baby? do monsters get the clap? its levels to this shit and i need answers.

(Source: zipitupandzipitout)

wonderxbread:

sn4ke-eyes:

The loop is too fucking perfect.

i could just sit here and watch this for forever

wonderxbread:

sn4ke-eyes:

The loop is too fucking perfect.

i could just sit here and watch this for forever

(Source: jackxiii)