"I went on a date and I get nervous when I date. I get very nervous. I went on this date and we went out to dinner and all these things then I took her home and she went inside, and then I farted for the rest of my life."-Louis C.K.
I'm the only non white guy in the suits.
a lot of people don’t know that mcdonalds fries contain beef in them and mcdonalds has been sued a long time ago for this but it’s still happening!!
the company says the “natural flavor” on the fries include beef flavoring
the official ingredients on the mcdonalds website for their french fries specifically says “natural beef flavoring”
even if you’re not a vegetarian or already know this, please reblog this and let people know
when we were babies my dad was a stay-at-home dad while my mom kicked ass in the courtroom but he would carry my twin brother and me around with one baby on the front and one on his back in backpacks
and women would come up and look at how cute i was and coo over me and be like “awww how cute wow”
and my dad would be like, “YOU KNOW WHAT’S CUTER THAN ONE BABY”
and then he’d spin around
there was my brother
I love everything about this.